“I wasn't embarrassed or ashamed,” he says. But Zak remains unfazed about the experience. This can, on occasion, lead to persecution of, or violence against the other guy, whether he’s gay or also straight. It’s not uncommon for straight men who have sex with another man to experience "gay panic" and feel guilty about what they’ve done and what it means. “I ‘topped', I don't think I’d have been comfortable with it the other way around.” “We had sex, both oral and anal,” says Zak. Like James getting a BJ from his pal, Zak’s mate was also providing a service of sorts, but Zak was an active participant. Who shags who, who touches what – that kind of thing. The ability to distance oneself from any gayness of a sex act perhaps comes from how it plays out. I suppose I'm quite a sexually liberal person and didn't really think of it as being 'gay', it was just was fun and at the time I was enjoying it.” This time, for some reason, I didn't really stop him and before long we were fully making out – we snuck into one of the bedrooms and one thing led to another.”īut was this a harrowing experience? Was there much soul-searching or did Zak just have a blast? Zak continues: “Later on, we were both alone on the landing and he kissed me again. So far, so straight – no need to adjust any labels so far. We chatted for a bit and then we both carried on with the night – not really thinking much about it.” We were both fairly drunk and I remember just feeling happy to see him for the first time in ages and for some reason, knowing he was gay, I kissed him rather than hugging him. George was a guy from my year I’d known fairly well but never been close to. “When I was 20 a load of our sixth form year got together for a party. “I'd only ever been with girls and had never really been sexually attracted to any guys. “I'd never really thought about being bi or gay, he explains. Sometimes, though, even if you’ve never imagined it, when the opportunity presents itself, a primal instinct takes over, as videographer Zak, 25, discovered. Thinking about having sex with a man isn’t a sign you’re gay yourself, no more than idly imaging pushing your evil boss under a truck means you’re a latent homicidal maniac. In the same way I have gay friends who’ve f***ed women, but would never identify as bi, or worry they’re straight.
“Why do I continue to identify as straight? I suppose it’s because I couldn’t imagine myself having a relationship with a man. I almost never think men are attractive.”īut if you’re involving a third person in your hitherto straight sex life, does this mean either you or your partner is bisexual? For Mark, it’s not a concern. I suppose it’s possible I might go further one day but I think it’s very unlikely. “I just didn’t really feel the desire to f*** him. So why stop at a blowjob and not take it further? When in Rome, and all that. “I was there with my girlfriend at the time and we’d both got pretty wild.” “I was in the couples room at Torture Garden and a stranger gave me a blowjob,” Mark explains. Read more: You’ve probably had chemsex and you didn’t even know itĪnd what about when contact with another man happens as part of your relationship? Mark, a 28-year-old investment banker had already had one skirmish with a gay guy when his colleague’s boyfriend came on to him in a club bathroom and went down on him – real life really is stranger than soap opera – but his second time was a different matter altogether. It’s fine to experiment it’s a big part of finding out who you are.” I doubt I’d do it again as that would mean being unfaithful, but I consider myself straight. The friend was finding his feet with his sexuality and James was the willing guinea pig – as long as nobody found out – but if you’re encouraging a gay man to perform fellatio on you, aren’t you gay? “I’ve never been with a man since and I’m happily married now. You could argue that there was an element of exploitation to James’s relationship with his mate. But I didn’t feel guilty and I think he was cool with it.” I always made it clear we weren’t in a relationship and that nobody should know.
“I didn’t have a girlfriend yet and my mate was just discovering his sexuality and wanted to try. “I wasn’t as interested in his cock as he was in mine, but I think we both got something out of it.” If there’s one thing hormone-frazzled 17-year-old boys aren’t getting anywhere near enough of as they want, it’s oral sex. “Me and my mate would fool around but mainly he would do it to me,” he explains. James, 28, says he regularly got blowjobs from a gay pal in his teens, but he doesn’t consider himself gay.